How to Study?

The DES office had a meeting with all of us who are deceling. They talked heavily about how psychologically we were feeling and how to get over the state of disappointment. Later they had a couple students who are currently in the program talk to us and their transitioning experience. We were also able to meet other students who are in similar positions. Overall it was a good session - I really was dreading to go, but I'm glad I went. (And, it was required - so I had to go.)

I think I've made my peace with the whole deceling - but what worries me more is making changes to my studying strategies. I wish I could find different options to try - because frankly, I don't know what's out there. Clearly, what I've been doing isn't working, but I don't know what options there are and have worked for others.

If you're reading this - can you please comment on your studying habit that's worked for you, or you can send me an email at: jennmed25 AT me.com. I'd really really appreciate it! 

New Look

I'm very OCD about aesthetics, mostly dealing with organization, design, etc. So, while I was in my low-mood this weekend, I had a tantrum about the way this blog looked. I know, stupid. But alas, I changed it up a bit. It's still not exactly how I want it to be, but good enough to deal with. I used a template I found online, and tried to edit as much as I could, but there are still many things I can't seem to fix. If you're good in coding, please let me know!

In the meantime, pardon my mess as I try to clean up as much as possible =]. Another thing, I lost all of the blog links I was following - crap! 

Update

Lots has happened this past week. But the most important of all, I decided to decel in Anatomy & Biochem. I know it was the best decision considering the circumstances (my current grades), but it's also a very "kick-in-the-crotch" feeling. The feeling you when you have to tell someone, yeah...I'm going to decel, and when you meet your lab members, and they inquire about why you weren't in lab. Pretty much sucks. But, the part that sucks even more, is your own feeling of failure. And no matter what anyone tells you, no matter how many success stories you hear about, this feeling will not go away until next term, you able to prove you can do it (Rocking the midterms).

In a medical school in the US, students repeat a year all the time; it doesn't literally happen all the time, but it's not uncommon. And those students will still be competitive enough to match, because they're at a US medical school. Being a Caribbean med student, it could basically go either way. However, doing amazing on the Step 1 exam is far more important.

I started to dwell on this whole process this past week. Not doing well the first term isn't exactly the confidence booster one would hope, and you really start doubting your ability. In addition, my really awesome, cool sleep schedule (sleep by 11:30/wake up by 6:30) was gone! And it wasn't the fact that I was sleepy/tired, I just couldn't get out of bed. I felt so unmotivated; no reason to get up anymore.

But after my somewhat unproductive week/end, I've decided:

I can keep questioning why this happened or didn't happen, but I don't know and I will never know - but I am going to choose to work very hard and believe and everything happens for a positive reason. 

Arghh

I was really hoping things post-midterm would slow down a bit, especially with all our random days off, and shortened lectured times. Boy, was I in for a complete surprise! The material we're covering is so much more difficult to grasp. I'm so glad we have the days off so I can catch up on all of this material. And Histology of all things...is it just me, or did Histology also get much more harder? 

New Schedule

I've recently found how important it is to have a schedule. Well, I knew this already; prior to entering medical school, I pretty much scheduled my entire day. That's the only way I was able to get anything done... However, being here - it's so easy to get off schedule. Instead, I made a to-do list with everything I hoped to accomplish that day and during the weekends. In essence, that was good - it was a little less stressful if things got off schedule, but it wasn't grounding.

While studying, I get really caught up on the details (that's the engineer side of me) instead of trying to encompass the full picture. With my old-time schedule, I was grounded to finish studying a particular lecture given the amount of time. It helped to "move along", and if I was really confused about a particular aspect, I can look it up later or ask the professor.

In addition, I've adjusted my sleep schedule to how I normally function. I'm a morning person - by the end of the day, my efficiency level starts dying. So, I'm doing the whole "early to bed, early to rise, makes man healthy, wealthy, and wise!" I've been sleeping at around 11/11:30 and waking up by 6:30. Knock on wood, it's been going great this year, so I hope I can continue it in the coming weeks. Although, I really wish classes started at 8, so we had more time to study...but whatever - I can't complain about everything! haha. 

Unsure

I haven't checked my midterm grades yet. I'm probably the only person that hasn't! I know I failed Anatomy & Biochem and I've already mentally prepared myself that I'm going to decel, and yet I still haven't checked. I don't know what's stopping me or holding me back. But one of these days, I'll actually work up the courage and check. 

Moving Forward

Let's just say last week did not go well.

Despite all the hours and importance I put into biochem, I walked out of the exam knowing I completely bombed the exam. As soon I as I got back to my room, I texted my mom letting her know how awful the exam went and emailed my adviser.

I then started cramming extremely hard for histology. BTW - to all the upper termers who have advised me (and sometimes endorse) not really studying for histology until after biochem need to be... I don't think the exam was particularly easy nor crammable in 1.5 days. It was a little more straightforward and do-able than the other two, but definitely not easy by all means. I will never advise that to anyone! DO NOT CRAM FOR HISTO!!!

Anatomy - despite how hard everyone thought it was, I thought it was a very fair exam. I did not do well in it by any means, but I thought it was a generally fair exam. There were a lot more CT scans, X-rays, etc that I thought, but overall it was a generally fair exam.

I haven't looked at any of my grades yet. I'm not ready yet. I've taken all of last week and even the weekend to think about my options because I know I have to decel. Taking the Caribbean Med school route, I definitely started questioning my reason to be here, and whether I'm going to make it. I've dreamed of being a physician ever since I can remember. And now that I'm here, it's a very bittersweet feeling; I'm disappointed that I didn't get accepted in US (despite knowing everything it takes for a long time) and I'm happy that I got accepted to and attending SGU verses other Caribbean med schools. Although it is a very discouraging feeling failing midterms during your first term in med school and being around so many people who make it look so easy!

After this past week and weekend of speaking with people, I've come to accept that everyone comes to medical school with different strengths, weaknesses, and backgrounds. I came from a background of engineering, where I'm trained to study in a COMPLETELY different manner than in med school. Realistically, until Unifieds, I wasn't really studying; I didn't know HOW to study. I learned to study after unifieds, so postunified material - I was good on. But, unfortunately I wasn't able to cover up the material that we had done pre-unifieds.

At this point in time, I'm going to do whatever it takes to keep my dream alive. At this point in time, I don't know if coming here was a mistake, or if failing midterms is a sign. But I choose to believe that everything happens for a reason, and in the end if I have to decel, it's for the overall good. 

Is there something wrong with me?

I made so many mistakes during my first couple of weeks of med school. And I mean, SOOOO many mistakes all in regards to my studying tactics and really trying to figure out what works. I got so behind on the material, that I've been playing catch-up ever since. I really wish I can just start over, without actually having to start over (decel). Needless to say, I'm just trying to pass midterms at this point. I've figured out a studying tactic/procedure and know I can do well on the finals which will even out my grades a bit. But it seems everyone around me is shooting for the A and is confident enough to get at least a B, but really studying their butt off for the A.

Am I the only one that got this behind?? Am I the only one who is just merely trying to pass??

Right now, the eve (or 2 nights) before my first midterm (biochem) I'm not confident that I'll pass. There is still so much I need to review and study. But, I'm going to stay confident and do the best I can at this point. There really isn't anything else I can do, and I have no time to waste on worrying.

Good luck to all for midterms!! Rock it!! 

Difference Between Males & Females, (Anatomically Speaking)

Is so much harder than I thought! I thought I could tell the difference quite easily before coming into med school...

Think, again!!

My new boyfriend: Cold Coffee

What medical school does to you...
Makes you into a coffee addict.

Prior to starting med school, I didn't drink coffee; I hate the taste. I had it a couple of times in college when I really needed to stay awake, but it was literally a couple of times at desperate moments. Needless to say, I was NOT a coffee drinker. I thought it was all psychological; if you really want to stay up and study, you can.

Oh boy, was I wrong!

Within the second week of med school - I was going by NY bagels at least 2 times a week to get coffee. And pretty soon, I was needing coffee at least 5 days a week, which brings us to where I'm at now. NY bagels was getting quite pricey, so I looked into buying a coffee maker. My roommate doesn't drink coffee, so it was pretty much an investment for me. I decided against it, and went the 'Instant Coffee' route.

I still don't really like the taste of coffee, I definitely have to put a lot of sugar, which makes me question if it's the caffeine or the sugar that's doing the trick...?